your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
