I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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