I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
