My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
