did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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