Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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