I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
