I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
