so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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