So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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