And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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