Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
