as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
