Don't you send me to vm
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
