Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Randomize
