paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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