the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
