I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
worst night to have a conscience
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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