I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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