Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
