You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
