As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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