i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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