I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
