he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
True strength comes from lack of pants
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
