My room smells like vodka and shame
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
this is an emotional support booty call
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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