There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Randomize
