And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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