i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
