How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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