uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
