Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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