i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize