Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize