I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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