like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
