Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
