we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
