Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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