Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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