Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
