Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
