bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
