Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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