i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
