at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Terrible idea I love it
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize