overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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