BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
