Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
