she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
