Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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