i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize