I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
