I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
