Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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