you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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