I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
