hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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