Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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