My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize