In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
