Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
