At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
