A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
