his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
These tits shall not be calmed
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
