Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
This house was built for laser tag.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
