i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Did you just see the Batmobile???
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize