sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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