Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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