Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
