i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
