i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
